Thinking About Terminating Your Marriage? Three Important Points To Get You Started.First, begin by asking questions, seek out good advice and educate yourself. You need to ask yourself: “What are my concerns?” “What am I worried about?” “What is keeping me awake at night?” This will get you off to a good start. And be careful about the answers you get from family and friends. I recently had a client tell me that all of her friends and co-workers said that no one has to pay spousal support in Morrow County, Ohio. That is right – no one. I asked her what her source was because I can find you 10 long-term marriages with a great disparity of income that say differently. And they are all a matter of public record.
Second, write down your questions and try to remain calm. Your attorney will want to know what is on your mind to best help you and address your questions, your concerns, your needs. Years of anger, pent up frustration and negative emotions cloud the normal thinking process and judgment. But, it’s going to be okay. The prospect of going through a divorce may seem daunting, but take a deep breath and begin the process with one small step. I have seen many women go through the process and come through relieved, stronger than ever and move on to a better place. If you are contemplating a divorce, you don’t have to do it alone. Help, guidance and information to empower you to make sound decisions are available right here. Also, get advice from a marriage counselor, financial adviser and other support professionals. You will need a strong team that is on your side. Check to see if assistance is available from your employer, your church, or specific divorce support groups.
Third, you need to know upfront how Ohio divorce cases work in the legal world and you need to find an Ohio divorce attorney who will put your needs first. Divorce cases are lawsuits just like any other legal matters and are slow moving, expensive and difficult to understand. Divorce attorneys come in all shapes and sizes with various expertise, costs and styles and you need to know how to choose an attorney right for you. Begin to educate yourself on each step of the divorce process and how attorneys approach a divorce case. Prepare yourself to take things one step at a time. In doing this, you need to ask yourself some fundamental questions: “How am I going to get through this process emotionally?” “How am I going to get through this process financially?” “
What will happen to the kids?” “How do I choose an attorney?” “Can I afford an attorney?” “How much will the divorce cost?” “What will the end result look like?” Also prepare yourself for the hard work (tons of paperwork) required in a divorce case. Tax returns, copies of bills, financial statements and bank statements from the last three years are all routine documents that your attorney will require.
I Never Thought I’d have to Deal with DivorceDuring some time or another, many people have made the statement of, “I never thought I’d have to deal with divorce” or “It never entered my mind that this would happen to me”. Divorce, unfortunately will happen to a fair number of us, despite our intentions when we took that trip down the aisle. I’m not sure on the exact percentage of divorces these days, but the statistical divorce rate is on the upper end, around 50%.
We deal with divorce every single day with our clients, so we all understand the hard times associated with this lengthy process. And when you add the other feelings-the fear, hurt, betrayal, frustration, and stress-it can really seem overwhelming.
We always advise our clients, at the beginning of the process, to ask questions, remain calm and to educate yourself on this entire process. Of course, every client is different but many people say a lot of the same things. They want to financially stable; would like to go back to school; get a certain job; to give their children the opportunity to a happy, healthy and well educated lifestyle; and most people want that feeling of love and security back.
Despite your marital status, you need to start making decisions about where you’d like to end up and what it’s going to take to get there. If you’re contemplating on terminating your marriage, now is the time to regain your life, your goals, and your happiness. Take care of yourself. Do the things you want to do, that you know he wouldn’t have liked. Seek help. Contact friends, a therapist, or join a local support group. There is no sense to being alone anymore.
Don’t listen to your spouse about your Divorce: He’s Lying!It is surprising to us to hear that many rational women that come through our doors and say things like, “I didn’t know I have a right to do that; he told me differently.”
I don’t understand why the same women will tell us that he’s a liar and you can’t trust anything he says. But the same women are confident that he is being truthful when discussing what each expects to get in a divorce settlement.
It is never a good idea to take his word for it, especially when it comes to your fair share in this process. Your interests are now different from each other you both can’t win. Since you guys are no longer a team, his goal is to convince you that you don’t have a right to the things you deserve.
Of course he doesn’t want you receive a share of his retirement. He would get less of his retirement for himself. He’ll also want to avoid paying you spousal support. So he will do everything in his power to convince you not to ask about it or tell you that you’re not entitled to it when in fact he has not taken the time to prove that what he is saying is not legally accurate.
The best advice that you can take away from this is to find out what you are entitled to. Seek out an attorney that will get you through this process-no one deserves to take this journey alone. Never take his word for it and be careful on signing any documents that he presents you with. If you’re not confident on the agreements or unclear of anything, never sign it because contracts of this sort can be impossible to overturn in court. Know what you are signing.
Remember think independently, know what is yours and what you’re entitled too, and never let him talk you into anything that you’re not comfortable with.
How long does it take for a divorce to be final?On average, there is a zero to six month waiting period after the initial divorce petition is filed and served on the other spouse before a divorce becomes final. A judge may make a final ruling, or judgment, on the divorce prior to that date. This order will be effective immediately. However, the marriage is not finally dissolved, and the spouses may not re-marry, until after the waiting period.
Of course, if a divorce cannot be resolved agreeably and requires litigation or a trial, it could take longer than six months to finalize.
Who receives custody of the children in a divorce?The parents must decide on the custody of any minor children. Custody is divided into physical custody (where will the children live) and legal custody (who will make important decisions regarding the children’s health, education, etc.). Both physical and legal custody can be either joint or sole.
Custody of adult children is not at issue during the divorce process.
Who pays for the cost of the divorce? Who pays for the divorce if the spouse goes to a lawyer first and gives him money?It doesn’t make a difference who talks to and pays an attorney first. The cost of divorce is often split between the spouses, but this is certainly something which can be negotiated. It’s common for the moneyed spouse to pay all or most of the cost.