Signs That Will Make You Realize You're in a Bad Marriage
When a marriage is good, it can be a tremendous blessing. A good marriage provides you with a consistent source of happiness and a sense of fulfillment.
However, a truly happy and positive marriage can be difficult to achieve. All too often, marriages turn out to be very negative, unhealthy, and bad.
If you are in an unhappy marriage, you could see your quality of life go down significantly. You may feel stressed, depressed, unhappy, and overwhelmed.
If you are unsure of whether you are in a bad marriage, then don’t worry. You are not alone.
Many people struggle to figure out whether or not their marriage is bad. It can be hard for them to realize the state of things because they are simply so used to being in the marriage that all of the bad things feel normal.
Here are some of the top signs that you are in a bad marriage. If you recognize a number of these signs, then it may be time for you to pull the plug, get a divorce, and try to find a more suitable partner.
After all, life is short.
#1 You fight constantly
Constant fighting is one of the telltale signs that you are in a bad marriage.
Happy couples do not fight all the time. They may disagree from time to time, but they are not engaging in verbal battles nearly every single day of the week.
If you are in this situation where you and your partner argue very frequently, then it could mean that you are just not right for each other.
#2 You find excuses to avoid your partner
Do you frequently find yourself avoiding your home? Or perhaps just avoiding your partner in general? Then it is probably because you subconsciously just do not want to be around him or her anymore.
You should view this avoidance as a major sign that the person is no longer good for you and that you are in an unhappy marriage.
#3 You find yourself feeling angry at your partner regularly
Even if you do not understand exactly why you’re angry, if you regularly feel angry at him or her, then this is not a good sign. Perhaps you do not like the way your partner speaks to you or perhaps you are unhappy with his or her financial contribution to the relationship.
Whatever the case may be, frequent feelings of anger and/or resentment towards your partner are a major sign that your marriage is unhappy.
#4 Your partner is cheating on you
If your partner is cheating on you, then this is going to be a serious problem. It is perhaps the most obvious sign that you are in an unhappy marriage.
If your partner is cheating, then it can lead to a lot of pain, mistrust, and regret. It is very difficult, and some would say impossible, to restore marriage to happiness and health after a partner has cheated.
So if your partner is cheating on you or has cheated on you in the past, then it definitely could be a sign that you are in an unhappy marriage.
#5 You find yourself regularly flirting with other people
This could be at the gym, at social events, at work, etc. Wherever it is taking place, if you are regularly flirting with other people, then it means that you are most likely unhappy with your marriage.
Married people who frequently flirt with other people are often trying to fill some sort of void that they are unable to fill with their marriage. Such as a need for more affection and attention.
So, if you are regularly flirting with people who are not your husband or your wife, then you are most likely in an unhappy marriage.
#6 You feel like your spouse is holding you back
People who have unhappy marriages often see their spouse as an obstacle that is in the way of them having a better life.
If you feel like your spouse is a “ball and chain." Your partner should help build you up. You should help each other move forward, not prevent one another from making progress.
#7 You aren’t physically intimate with your partner anymore
A lack of physical intimacy is a dead giveaway that you are in an unhappy marriage.
Unhappily married people often stop being physically intimate with their partner. This may be because they resent them so much that the concept of being intimate with them is repulsive. Or because they are no longer physically attracted to them anymore.
Whatever the cause is, if you are no longer being physically intimate with your partner, then it is a major sign that your marriage is unhappy.
#8 You feel like you’re just going through motions
If you feel like you’re just going through the motions and you have not invested in your marriage anymore, then it is most likely very unhappy.
Perhaps your marriage was very exciting and fulfilling in the beginning, however, if it feels like a chore and like you are just going through the motions now, then this is not a good sign.
For your marriage to fulfill you, it needs to be exciting and happy, not boring, stressful, and tedious.
#9 You are ignoring your gut
Many people who are in unhappy marriages know that they are unhappy deep down.
However, they do not listen to that gut instinct. If you find yourself actively ignoring your intuition, then you are most likely trapped in an unhappy marriage and need to find a way out.
#10 You constantly fantasize about a life without your partner
This is another classic sign that you are in an unhappy marriage. Some people who are in unhappy marriages will have actual dreams when they are asleep about leaving their partner and starting a new life without him or her.
However, regardless of whether you are having actual dreams, daydreams, or any other kind of dreams or fantasies about leaving your partner, this is a major red flag indicating that you are not happy with your current situation.
#11 Your partner physically or verbally abuses you
Regardless of how much you may have thought that you loved your partner, if he or she physically abuses you (hitting, kicking, scratching…etc), or verbally abuses you (yelling, constant criticism, constant insults...etc), it can very quickly turn a once-happy marriage into a very unhappy one.
No one wants to go through physical or verbal abuse, and if there are either of these things in your marriage, then you are in trouble.
#12 You feel lonely
It may sound strange, however, people who are in unhappy relationships often feel very lonely.
This is because they cannot communicate effectively with their partner, they do not feel supported, and they do not feel connected. People who are in unhappy marriages can feel even lonelier than single people. Because single people at least, don’t have to feel guilty when they flirt with and try to get attention from other people.
So, if you are finding yourself feeling very trapped and very lonely in your marriage, then it is most likely a very unhappy marriage.
#13 You feel emotionally exhausted
People who are in unhappy marriages oftentimes spend a lot of time arguing, criticizing, insulting, and otherwise hurting each other. The result is that these people tend to feel emotionally exhausted regularly.
So, if you are feeling emotionally exhausted, then there is a very good chance that your relationship is unhappy. You may be better off getting a divorce and finding a new partner if you are feeling emotionally exhausted regularly.
#14 You are underperforming at work
If you are underperforming at work and you are not sure why it could be because you are in an unhappy marriage.
People who are in unhappy marriages are often heavily distracted by the constant problems of their marriage. This can cause them to perform poorly at work.
So, if you have noticed that your work performance has been slipping over the past few months, or perhaps even years, then it could mean that there are some major problems in your marriage.
#15 You simply do not trust your partner
Trust is key for a happy and healthy marriage. So, if you have an underlying feeling that you just cannot trust your partner, then this is not good.
A lack of trust can lead to suspicion, which can lead to anxiety, which can lead to paranoia, which can lead to a lot of fighting. It can be particularly hard to trust your partner if he or she has a history of cheating.
#16 Your partner has a serious addiction
Addictions to drugs, alcohol, gambling, or other risky behaviors are a formula for disaster. Addiction kills many previously happy marriages.
If your partner has a serious addiction, then you may think that it is your responsibility to fix him or her, or perhaps even that it is your fault. This is not true. It is not your fault, and if help doesn’t help, then you’re not obliged to follow your partner in his or her downward spiral.
#17 Your partner blames you for everything
When one partner blames the other partner for all of his or her problems or negative behaviors, then this can be a major problem. There are two reasons why this is a major problem.
The first is that it will most likely feel very unhappy. The second is that it is a manipulation technique that is designed to make you feel like you are the source of all of the problems in a relationship.
If your partner manipulates you in this way, it can make you feel like it’s pointless to break up with him or her because you will feel like you will create all of the same problems in your new relationship. This isn’t true!
Don’t believe it if your partner is saying that everything is your fault.
#18 You’re looking for a way out
Ending a marriage can be extremely difficult and complicated. This is because many marital partners share assets, real estate, children, and other things.
So, getting a divorce is not always the easiest thing in the world. So, if you find that you are looking at divorce attorneys, moving money into secret accounts, looking at one-bedroom apartments, etc., then this most likely means that you are in an unhappy marriage.
#19 You are having nightmares about your partner/marriage
Having actual nightmares about your partner and/or your marriage is a major sign that something is not right. In happy marriages, marital partners tend not to haunt their spouse’s dreams.
Having nightmares about your partner is common if there is abuse in the relationship. However, abuse doesn't need to be present to have nightmares about your partner.
Regardless of why you are having nightmares about your husband or wife, it is not a good sign.
#20 You are just not in love with your partner anymore
Maybe you were in love at one time. However, if you just do not feel like you are in love with your partner anymore, then this is perhaps the most important sign that you are not in a happy relationship.
In happy relationships, partners tend to be in love with each other. So, if you feel like your heart is just not invested in your partner anymore, then it may be time to call it quits.
If you notice a number of these signs in your relationship, then there is a very good chance that you are no longer in a happy marriage.
Life is short, so, you do not need to stay married to a spouse you believe is no longer a good match. It is okay to simply get a divorce and move on. Your partner will adjust to life without you, so don’t feel guilty.
Give these signs some thought. Is it time for you to start seriously considering a divorce?
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