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8 Signs You Might be Having an Emotional Affair

8 Signs You Might be Having an Emotional Affair

Warning Signs You Are in an Emotional Affair

Most monogamous couples would agree that having an intimate relationship with another person qualifies as adultery. If you ask those same individuals how they define “intimate relationship,” they probably would say a physical affair.

However, it is possible to be unfaithful to your spouse without physically touching another person. You may be guilty of an emotional affair if you answer “yes” to any of the following questions.

 emotional affair

Are You Hiding Your Interactions With This Person?

Do you hide your phone calls, texts, Facebook interaction and meetings from your spouse?

If so, you may be guilty of emotional infidelity. One sure sign of cheating is lying about your interaction with the other person.

It could begin very subtly such as working late to spend more time with this person or going out with friends or co-workers just to see this person.

In either case, if you are lying to your spouse about your interactions with another person, you should consider whether you are investing more into this relationship than your spouse would approve of if he or she knew the truth.

Are You Fantasizing About Having a Life With This Person?

Do you find yourself imagining what it would be like to live with another person?

Maybe you are wondering how it might be if you could leave everything behind and run away with this person?

When we are unhappy in our marriage, we turn a superficial flirtation into something much more. We begin to daydream about this person and daydream about how things would be different if we were with this person instead of our spouse.

It is very easy to put this person up on a pedestal and imagine how perfect our life would be with this person. No one is perfect and every relationship has its problems. Daydreaming about a “perfect” person is extremely dangerous because it only makes you more dissatisfied with your marriage.

Do You Feel Closer to This Person Than Your Spouse?

Sometimes when we meet someone new that we share an interest with, have an intellectual bond with or we share some other interest with, it is easy to be infatuated with this person. This person stimulates your mind and connects with you on a level that you believe your spouse fails to achieve.

You find yourself looking for ways to spend more time with this person because the bond is so natural. In time, that bond grows as you feel more comfortable and you begin to discuss intimate details of your life with each other. This creates an emotional bond that can easily cross the line from friendship to an emotional affair.

Are You Scheduling Your Time to Accommodate This Person?

Do you find yourself rearranging your life so that you can spend more time with this person? Are you putting this person above your spouse and your family? If so, you are traveling down a very dangerous path. When you would rather share the good news with this person rather than your spouse, you are making an emotional bond that is dipping into the realm of an affair.

If you are leaning on this person emotionally, you are investing a great deal of time in communicating with this person that takes away from the time you need to invest in caring for your relationship with your spouse.

guilt ashamed

Do You Feel Guilty or Ashamed of this Relationship and/or Your Actions?

Guilt is a definite sign that you have taken this relationship too far and are probably engaged in an emotional affair. If you feel uncomfortable and guilty about spending time with this person, that should tell you something about your relationship. When a person is truly a friend, there is no need to hide our interactions with that person nor do we feel guilty and ashamed of the relationship. If you cannot tell your family about your relationship, you need to question what your true feelings are to determine if you may be in an emotional affair.

Do You Complain About Your Spouse?

Are you disclosing personal details of your marriage to your “friend?” There is a big difference in venting to a girlfriend or a buddy and bonding with a person over your frustrations about your spouse.

If you are talking about how much you hate your spouse and this person is encouraging you to vent your feelings, you may be engaged in an emotional affair.

Have You Withdrawn from Your Spouse?

If you would rather spend time with another person, that is a warning sign.

If you do not care whether you see your spouse much less spend quality time with your spouse, you are in a vulnerable state. When you have no interest in your spouse, either physically or emotionally, you are likely to turn to another person for the bond that you are missing with your spouse.

It is very easy to rationalize an emotional affair by saying that your spouse just does not “get you” anymore. Rather than putting the effort into another person, your marriage might be saved if you put the energy into reconnecting with your spouse.

Is It a Friendship or an Emotional Affair?

It is possible to be friends with another person without crossing the line into the area of an emotional or physical affair. However, you must be careful.

When you think about this person throughout the day, change your routines to connect with this person, begin wishing your spouse was more like this person, paying attention to your appearance more when you will see this person and putting this person before your spouse, friends, and family, you are crossing a line.

Once you cross the line, it may be difficult to repair the emotional damage that your spouse will suffer due to your affair.



Jack W. Carney-DeBord is licensed and admitted to the practice law in the State of Ohio-ONLY. Jack has no intention of soliciting clients in any state other than Ohio and nothing posted on this website should be viewed as an attempt to solicit or do business in ANY state other than the State of Ohio.

The content on this website is provided as general information only and is not legal advice. You should not act or refrain from acting based upon information provided in this site without first consulting legal counsel.

The use of this website does not create an attorney-client relationship between you and Jack's Law Office.

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