Tips on How to COMMUNICATE with your Spouse to Keep Your Divorce From Going Off the Rails

When you are going through your divorce, there is a good chance that you will experience many negative emotions.

These emotions can include anger, resentment, loneliness, and frustration. However, even though divorces can be highly emotional and difficult to deal with, you will still most likely have to communicate with your spouse. At least to a certain extent during the divorce proceedings.

Correctly communicating with your spouse is critical to make sure that you don’t escalate any issues or make things worse for yourself in a legal sense.

Here are 10 tips for how to communicate with your spouse in the middle of a divorce case in Columbus, Ohio.

Be civil

No matter how angry you are at your spouse, it is better to be civil and to take the high road. Remember that your time with your spouse is almost over and soon you will not have to deal with him or her anymore.

Try to avoid getting sucked into arguments. Keep conversations and texts or emails simple, straightforward, and as civil as possible. This will give you the best possible chance of having your spouse be civil as well.

Ask your attorney how to deal with this

Experienced Franklin County divorce attorneys have seen it all. They understand all of the drama that people in a divorce can go through and the games that spouses play.

There is a very good chance that your attorney will have some excellent advice on how to deal with communicating with your specific spouse. Depending on the situation and his or her personality. So, don’t be afraid to ask your attorney for help regarding this issue.

Keep to email

Keeping conversations to email is one of the best ways to limit drama and painful arguments during divorces. This is especially true if the divorce is complicated or bitter and if one spouse has a high level of resentment.

With email communication, you do not have to see your spouse or even hear the sound of his or her voice. However, you can still say what needs to be said to him or her. This is ideal.

Run the email by your attorney

Your attorney will be able to tell you if your email has the right tone and the right content. And what you could say that may run afoul of Ohio law.

The last thing you want to do is complicate your divorce because you accidentally made an inadvertent threat or an unnecessarily hostile statement to your spouse in an email. So, it is always a great idea to let your attorney check your emails to make sure they are okay to send.

Object

Sometimes, it is necessary to object to certain things that your spouse might say to you when the two of you are communicating during a divorce.

For example, your spouse may want to try to see you in person to communicate. You do not have to do this. You can object and insist that you keep boundaries that work for you.

Let them know simply by email

Even if your spouse calls you or tries to reach you through text or social media, etc, you can just respond via email every single time.

Email is arguably the least personal of all forms of communication and that is why it is ideal. Just keep using email for communication and keep having your attorney check your emails if you have any doubt about the content or the tone.

Do not be tempted to use other forms of communication unless your attorney advises you that doing so is okay. If you have any questions about this, just ask your attorney.

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Do not talk through the children

Divorce is already hard enough for children to go through. You do not need to make it any harder by using them as vehicles to carry messages to your spouse. You should avoid this at all costs.

Leave the children out of it. If your spouse tries to use the children to communicate with you, do not do the same thing. Just keep using email.

Don’t talk through your new significant other

This too is a big mistake and can cause a lot of unnecessary problems. If you have a new significant other, that is great that you have already found love again.

However, you should try to leave that person out of your divorce proceedings. Using them to speak to your spouse will only create more problems and drama and it can cause your ex to retaliate and make the divorce more difficult.

It’s simply better to avoid this.

Be consistent

Being consistent is a wise move because it prevents your spouse from being taken by surprise and reacting erratically as a result.

When you are going through your divorce, you want things to be as smooth as possible so that you can just get through the already difficult process without adding any more unnecessary stress. Keeping your communication consistent can help you with this.

Be respectful

This is especially important if you are the one who filed for divorce. The reason is that if you filed for divorce, then there is a very good chance that your spouse was very hurt by this.

So, if you are disrespectful, you can cause your spouse to feel even more hurt and resentful to you. This can cause him or her to make the divorce as difficult as possible for you and to fight you over every single key point of the divorce.

This is not what you want. You want your spouse to be reasonable and civil. You have a much better chance of getting your spouse to be reasonable and civil with you if you are respectful to him or her in your communication.

The goal is to get your spouse to be focused on getting through the divorce and moving on quickly instead of trying to get revenge on you. Being respectful can go a long way towards making this happen.

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